I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize