I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
