Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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