The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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