What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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