he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
