Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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