I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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