All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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