Small penises have feelings too.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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