Yo dont text me then not text me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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