If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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