The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
