YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
