i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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