i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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