I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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