I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
