no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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