so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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