You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
