So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
