kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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