Do vagina's smell?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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