Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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