Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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