I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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