I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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