Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
