I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
