I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
