If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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