just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Too much gin, very little bucket
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
