You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
