How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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