Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
