it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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