OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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