im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
