I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
