Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he laminated a picture of his dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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