dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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