Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize