I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
