oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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