I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
