We're facebook friends in real life
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
