Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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