Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
