just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
