and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
