i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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