I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
