I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize