we have officially lost it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
