your thong is hanging out like whoa
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
