He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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