i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize