Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
