but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
