Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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