she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
