She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
