I accidentally had phone sex last night
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
