we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize