Ambien. No doubt about it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
