Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize