How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
